It's been three years since the death of my aunt. I remember the phone call I received from my mother. I remember the day in particular. I was wrapped in the arms of my lover high in bliss and of such sexual ecstasy. I rolled over and saw two missed calls from my mother, three minutes apart from each other. I sighed knowing I had to call her but unconcerned and disinterested thinking it was just nothing. Conversations with my mother is just difficult. There's no language barrier as she's gained more years of living in the United States to perfect her English and her accent.
I got out of the bed and reluctantly took minimal steps to the bathroom of my small studio apartment in Brooklyn. I looked out of the one window I had and sat on the edge of my shower space. As soon as my mother picks up, I could hear her sniffles and her sobs.
"Tumar Sharda mashi ke mere di che."
My aunt was murdered.
She was beaten up in front of her child by her in-laws including her husband. She was then hung up in a noose and burned alive.
I didn't understand. I didn't get it. I've watched movies of psychotic murder plots but it's just a movie. That shit doesn't happen in real life? Does it? Fuck.
I sat there listening to my mother's wails and dug into my brain remembering what my aunt looked like during my childhood years. I only remember of her when I visited India at the age of 10. I remember the frail but lively spirit who washed her dog out in the yard. I remember her holding me and protecting me from my mother's slaps. I remember her feeding me her specialties she was fond of cooking. She was so proud when I chewed and nodded in agreement.
Tears started to pour. She was a beautiful human being. Did she fucking deserve to die in such a ruthless way? No one deserves to die in such a way. Humans are the most complex animals, unable to uphold the amount of intelligence, thinking, and capability while living. No one should ever have to leave the earth in such agony. I started wailing as well.
Three years later. I remember the news. I still have those flashback memories of her. I think of her and wish her spirit wherever it may be is in peace.
